Why I can’t put things on the walls

2013-07-12 15.03.53

Welcome to my bedroom! It’s still kind of in that still-moving-in mess, which is why I’m zoomed in and not showing you that this crazy mix of purple, yellow, teal and maroon is tied together by my rug, so just imagine it.

No, wait, here’s a no-laundry-on-the-floor, bed-not-fully-made (which is odd, because I’ve been excellent at keeping the bed made) shot:

2013-07-11 07.44.02

I’m not 100 percent with the maroon, but I like having the bench there (for the dogs). I need to pull the rug closer to the bed, but that will be done when the platform is redone (it’s a couple inches too small). One of these years, I’ll have a headboard, but I don’t quite know what I want just yet.

One thing you’ll notice in these photos is the difference in bedside tables. Last week I moved the wobbly, came-with-the-house tables out and moved the end tables from the living room into the bedroom; I love, love, love them in this space.

Here they were in the living room:

2013-07-11 07.43.51

With the couches facing one another and the coffee table in the center, there’s really no need for end tables. There are no outlets in the center of the room for lamps. There’s plenty of storage space and drink-setting space on the coffee table, so they were just taking up space I don’t have in the living room.

I had fun playing with accessories, too. I need a photo for the frame, but here’s the table closest to where I sleep:

2013-07-12 19.14.41

I am OBSESSED with these lamps, friends. OBSESSED! I have been since Dollar General put them out this winter. I have one in my office at work and four in the new house. Maybe five? The lamp bases are $7 and I’ve seen them in both teal and white. The shades are, maybe, $5? I have a white shade on the office lamp, but burlap-y sort of shades on the ones in my bedroom for texture. Love. Them.

Anyway, what’s something else you noticed in the photos above? Nothing. On. The. Walls.

Here’s one blurry reason why:

2013-06-27 14.45.01

When I opened my home decor/wall decor boxes, most of the items are family photos, wedding photos and personalized art that came to us as wedding gifts. Womp, womp. Talk about taking the wind out of your decorating sails.

The other reason is that I just get anxious to put things up. Why does hanging things on the wall paralyze me with fear?

I was determined to be different in this house, determined to actually put things on the walls and make it feel like a home instead of just a house. My last house, sadly, was under-decorated, despite all of the family-related pieces strewn about. The walls were painted, there were a few things here and there, but nothing really pulled together.

I suck at that.

I feel like it’s a fear of commitment, but not in relationships with people, just in relationships with my walls.

I just don’t know what I want. And when I get excited about something, I hang things and spend weeks second-guessing it. Last night, for instance, I hung a vintage floral print on the wall just to put something up. I also hung a photo of my kids that was my Mother’s Day gift and the school days frames. And then? Empty antique frames. Just directly on the wall, nothing inside. No glass. I actually kind of like it better than the floral print (which I’ve been eyeing for months and got for $10, about $40 cheaper than its original price).

I’m using Command products to hang things on walls this time around because nails/screws + plaster is not something I’m particularly into, plus it makes it much easier to move things around damage-free. That sets my stupid commitment phobia at ease, but still. I’m no good at this, then get sad when I go near the pile of boxes with the old photos and such inside.

It seems like so many women have this decorating thing in their DNA. Am I the only one who doesn’t?