On Thursday, something-that-rhymes-with-mouse was officially purchased, and so that means I can talk about it without feeling like I’m jinxing anything.
First, let’s get it out of the way, I’m all kinds of anxious over this. It’s a big, expensive step that I’m freaking out over. I just need to breathe and have faith, though.
But! A house! It still doesn’t feel real. There are renters still living there and they’re set to move out next weekend, then we’ll begin with renovations some time next month. When those are complete, likely in May, we’ll move in.
I have pictures from the original listing online, but I’m hesitant to share them because (1) they’re someone else’s personal belongings and that might be weird for them and (2) I don’t want crazy people doing a Google Image search and finding our address, showing up, etc. I can’t wait to share those, but I will wait until after the renters have left and it’s empty. I’ll also talk more about renovations then, after we’ve met and discussed what we’re going to do.
We have walls to build, walls to take down, walls to cut into and bathrooms to gut and rework. It’s symbolic in a way and don’t let me fool you into thinking I don’t recognize that. I don’t know what the future will hold for the four of us but I know it will continue to require some internal renovations on my part. I started counseling right after we split and (except that I missed my last appointment!) I’ve been trying to work on things I can change to become a better me, a better mother to my children and a woman who can stand on her own two feet.
I know that things will be okay for us, or I have faith that they will be. I know there will be bumps in the road, there will be rocky times, there will happy times, there will be a lot of things on this journey, but we’re going to do our best to make the most of these things, to learn from them, to grow, to accept God’s will and His direction for our lives. And if I forget to, please remind me to do so.
All of that said, this will be a difficult journey and I know that. I’ve had six months off of couponing and meal planning and utility payments and such, so I’ll have to navigate those waters again soon (and more aggressively than before). There’s so much to figure out, so much to pay for, that it’s honestly very overwhelming. (ZOMG the utility deposits!)
I’m not sure there’s enough Zoloft for this, but I thank God, and my feisty heritage, for giving me an obstinate nature. Goonies never say die!