Taking a break today from all of the questions (but keep sending them in – I’m enjoying answering them!) and so I thought I would pull something out of my archives. This can be fun, but also annoying because I was extremely bubbly at 21 when I started this blog. Oy.

On Nov. 15, 2002, I published my criteria for Mr. Right. Basically, it was a list of the things I’d change about the man who is now my ex-husband and I wrote it the week after we had broken up, before we were ever married.

Seven years later, I will tell you that I later dated a couple of guys who met a lot of the criteria. One of them was pretty spot-on with everything I was looking for, but it just wasn’t the right timing. I thought it was the end of the world, but oh how I have lived, loved and enjoyed myself in the years since my last heartbreak.

Here’s the list, and here’s how my real Mr. Right matches up with the expectations I set at age 21:

MR. RIGHT …

-MUST like children. I have a daughter and want more children in the future, so this is a must!
Well obviously I did have more children and I’m lucky to have married someone who likes children and has accepted mine as his own.

-WILL NOT overstep his boundaries with my daughter.

-MUST be taller than me. I know that it’s what’s on the inside that counts, but I don’t care. No more short guys.
Wow, shallow. But Darin is taller than me.

-MUST be older than me – and act that way too. I’ve had one too many immature/younger boyfriends, and they are just aggravating. Maybe once I hit 40 this will be dropped, but not anytime soon.
Oopsies – Darin’s six months younger! Guess I dropped it well before 40.

-MUST be attentive to MY needs. I think this speaks for itself, but I am tired of coming after everyone else. If you’re with me, pay attention to me and give me what I need (emotionally and physically, not materialistically).
Darin’s pretty good at this, though he’s still a man and we’re still busy parents of four. I still come in last sometimes. I cried to him about it a few months ago.

-MUST put US first if we’re serious. Our relationship is not the same as the relationship you have with your parents and family, so don’t treat it that way. I am not trying to come between you and them, so don’t treat it that way, either. We’re playing a different game altogether.
Darin is actually pretty good at this. No complaints.

-MUST be nice. There really is no reason to treat me any other way.
Okay Darin … well he’s very candid when we’re around a lot of other people but he can be pretty intense, pretty serious when we’re alone.

-MUST act appropriate for the situation. If we’re out with friends, laugh it up – have a good time. Talk about sex and your past, I don’t care. If we’re with my Grannie, act like a gentleman. I don’t think this is too much too ask, really.
Again, no complaints.

-MUST not stink on a regular basis. This should cover body odor, breath, etc. HYGIENE, MAN! HYGIENE!
Ok, I have been married to two men who shower very, very regularly. I actually think this line item was directed at a high school boyfriend. lol. But anyway, Darin never stinks. Even when he thinks he does, he does not.

-WILL think stretch marks are beautiful. I had to throw this in because I am self-conscious about them! Haha
He could really care less about them, honestly.

-WILL enjoy at least SOME of the things I do. How can we be a couple if we’d never be friends otherwise? We need some common ground.
This is an area with which we struggled a few months into our relationship and one of the reasons we split for several weeks at one point. We have a few common interests and I hope we come up with more.

-WILL find beauty in nature. I’m a geek and I want a gay boy that thinks the same way I do! (LOL JK – but commenting on the sunset is nice once in awhile ..)
I totally wouldn’t say he’s gay (funny because his sister and I tease him about that lol!), but he loves nature.

-MUST be romantic!! And not just SOMETIMES – A LOT of the time!
He’s romantic sometimes. He sends me flowers at work and runs me warm baths with candles. This makes me smile!

-MUST think I’m beautiful, and will tell me so often!
Check and check!

-MUST not be argumentative! Unless we’re just joking around ..
Darin’s argumentative. Very, very argumentative.

-WILL show me respect 24/7/365! There should never be a moment when I am not respected.

-MUST be faithful! This goes back to being respectful and putting us first.
This is one thing I love best about Darin: I never, never have to worry. Never. This is huge for me.

-IS compassionate.
I wouldn’t call Darin compassionate. lol.

-MUST be someone that I am comfortable around at all times.
We’re comfortable around one another. Unless we’re mad at each other.

-MUST be attracted to me. This is a given, but I thought I’d throw it in anyway.
He said the first time he saw me (in person, as an adult) that he thought I was pretty. And I was not fixed up that day, either. lol.

-MUST at least attempt to be civil with my friends. He doesn’t have to like them all, but at least get to know them – and not have a problem with them being around.
He absolutely is.

-WILL know that absence makes the heart grow fonder. He will not expect me to be up his butt all the time and will not be up mine all the time, either.
This was an issue we had before we moved in together, but now it’s more of a non-issue. He’s not clingy anymore.

-WILL treat me as he’d like me to treat him. The Golden Rule ..

-WILL never be mean to my family. They’re blood, he’s not.
It would take a lot for Darin to be mean to my family.

-WILL not be a bum.

-WILL have his priorities straight! There’s nothing worse than a guy who has his priorities screwed up!
He does. ALWAYS. And it annoys because sometimes I want to do things like watch TV instead of do laundry, but he is adamant about working first and playing later.

-WILL not take me or us for granted. Again, respect and priorities.
We all do this,

-MUST have goals.

-MUST have ‘marriage and family’ as one of his goals!

-MUST like slow dancing! I haven’t danced in forever ..
We’ve danced together only twice. Maybe I’ll make him dance with me in the living room when he comes back?

-WILL take me someplace where I can dress semi-formal at least once a year! Man, I have all of those dresses in my closet that I never wear ..
Ha ha ha, YEAH RIGHT. We can just go ahead and scratch this one of the list since I can’t FIT into any of those dresses anymore.

-MUST be appreciative of my artistic abilities.
He pretty much appreciates any and all abilities.

-MUST be completely supportive of me at all times.
He’s supportive, a lot of times, but always, always, always plays devil’s advocate.

-WILL not be ugly. No way. I have to be attracted to you..
And he’s not!

-WILL be a gentleman at least 50% of the time. It’s nice to have car doors opened for you once in awhile.
He still opens car doors for me when we’re on a date.

-WILL be helpful. He HAS to help me out with things like bills, housework, raising the youngins..
He is SUPER helpful!

-WILL touch me. Holding hands, kissing me on the cheek, cuddling ..

-WILL like the beach. I LOVE the beach and taking vacations at the Outer Banks, NC, so I would appreciate it if he did too.
We went to the Outer Banks for our honeymoon! I miss our honeymoon. It was the greatest!

-MUST be fun!

-MUST have a sense of humor! Dull guys suck.

-MUST not be afraid to try new things.

-WILL pick me up when I am down. That’s what he’s there for, right?

-WILL tell me he loves me everyday .. because he does, and not because it’s habit.
And he does, even when he’s mad at me.

-WILL cry when I cry, laugh when I laugh.

-WILL think that losing me is the end of the world. AMEN.
He has already showed me this.

-WILL be open and honest .. and will not hide things (feelings).

-WILL genuinely care about me and people in general.

-WILL be sappy when I need/want him to be. Again – must be attentive to my wants/needs/desires.

-WILL know what true happiness is .. . and how important it is.

-WILL be smart enough to hold an intelligent conversation with me. Forrest Gumps need not apply.

-WILL laugh at my corny jokes.
Darin says I’m not funny. *POUT*

-WILL never get mad because my long stories are (a) long and (b) often pointless.
Geez with the expectations, Echo.

-WILL never try to persuade me to do something I don’t want to do. For example, asking me to switch majors after I’ve finally decided on one that you don’t like.

-MUST know that love buys happiness .. and money does not.

-MUST NOT be broke. I am already broke enough for the both of us.

-WILL NOT be jealous of my ex-boyfriends. He should know that there is a reason we’re not together anymore.

-WILL NOT put me down.

-WILL do things ‘just because’ .. and not only when he’s screwed up.
He does!

-WILL understand that I am sometimes really quirky .. and other times I am bitchy. This is just me.

-MUST NOT DO DRUGS! This should be a given, but sadly some people haven’t learned this yet.

-MUST NOT be an alcoholic! A few drinks here and there is okay .. but getting drunk everyday is not.

-MUST be adult enough to pick up after himself!
He does. Trust me.

-MUST have aim in the bathroom.
I have been luckily enough to have married two men with good aim and sense enough to put the seat down. Rock on!

-WILL cuddle up with me as we fall asleep.
We do for a bit, then he has to put his CPAP on.

-WILL tell me when I’m right .. and he’s wrong.
Oh this is easy – I’m always right!

-WILL want us to work together as a team. ALWAYS.

-WILL practice constructive criticism.

-WILL act silly with me sometimes .. because I do play a lot!

-WILL accept that I am goofy .. and that I don’t plan on changing.

-MUST kiss me passionately everyday.

-MUST be a good kisser!

-WILL always try to make things better for us.

-MUST know that actions speak louder than words .. and actually live by this.

-WILL NOT have a problem with the fact that most of my friends are guys. I’m not sleeping with any of them, we’re just friends.

-WILL think that education is extremely important. My Grannie always says that it’s something no one can ever take away from you ..
He knows this. He’s actually in school.

-WILL teach me things I don’t know.

-WILL NOT be a criminal.

-WILL be my best friend .. and consider me his as well.
We are best friends. And I love that.

.. That’s all I can think of right now ..
Well good, because that was a long list!

Additions to this list after the dissolution of my first marriage included faith in God and willingness to attend church with me, both of which I’m happy to say he meets. Last September we were confirmed together (and Emma was baptized the same day) and we attend church as a family.

Nice to see Darin measures up!

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